I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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