i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
His nipple licking is glorious
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