He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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