I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
