erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I have tasted many bathrooms
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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