I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
