I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
