Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
