just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Randomize
