At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
