it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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