it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
