YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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