loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Randomize