i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
