Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.