I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.