I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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