Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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