so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
