He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
