my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You had me at "let me see your balls"
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I did not marry a roomba.
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