And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
