1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
