it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
