i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
