He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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