i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
