That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
