Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
