just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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