I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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