it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
