dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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