Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
