Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
