she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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