btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Damn victory sex feels great
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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