Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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