I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Randomize
