Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
