i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
