I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize