I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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