if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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