Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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