This is not my ceiling
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
