Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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