Buhtt sex?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
