I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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