i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
