We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
