Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize