I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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