If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
