the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
