Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
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I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
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Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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