she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
