I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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