Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
