My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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