babies were throwing up all over the place
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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