i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize